the other day my roommate was talking to her boyfriend on the phone about what they were going to eat for dinner that night. she recommended an establishment and said that they could eat there because they had bar pies.

lolwat? turns out bar pies refer to...[you might want to guess here before the cut; speak now or forever hold your peace]... Continue reading →

nothing says happy v-day like tons of spam.

please drop me a line here with the usernames spamming you and i will kill them for you. i am like cupid but digital and much more lethal.

p.s. i came to starbucks with the intention to edit datingish posts for tomorrow and monday and whammy, look at what happened instead. HOW CAN I ENJOY MY GRANDE SKIM MISTO AT THIS RATE?!

edit: i think i've gotten them all for the time being but i'll keep checking/deleting spam accounts as long as you name them.

edit #2: okay, i'm going home (it's 3:30) - message me or text me (i think three of you have my number, right?) if anything happens.

edit #3: was away from my computer all day yesterday so jon and janet are to thank for deleting the rest of these grr-inducing spammers.

edit #4: dan had that person's website shut down. go team!

I have three checks left . . . and that's it! I went online through my bank's site to reorder them and found out that I can get some pretty hilarious stuff printed on all of my checks free of charge. Behold (and click to enlarge):

I think I'm going to do "Horses are My Life" because it's not true and, therefore, is fantastic. The capitalization is also wrong and I think that's funny.

It's free. Nobody looks at checks - I think my landlord probably just writes "X" on the back to endorse it and cashes it.

What do your checks look like? Which inscription should I get?

edit: ok fine I did Horses... and once they arrive, you better bet I will either take a picture of it or send you a check for .04 so you can behold its majesty

I was listening to a random '60s/'70s station on last.fm when this guy's picture came up. He's Andy Kim, known for the 1974 song Rock Me Gently (see, yeah, you know him).

Poor dude, though, bears a striking resemblance to ... Continue reading →

I was tagged by JadedJanissary. By now, I am relatively sure that all of you have done this survey - I held out for so long! - but if you haven't yet, I tag you, Pikachu.

25 Things about Yours Truly

1.  Officially, I've never broken a bone . . . but my left-hand ring finger is pretty wonked up (read: bent) from an intense b-ball game with my dad.
2.  I played the trumpet from sixth grade until my senior year of college. I am terrible at it. People always figure that after playing for so long, you're only being modest by saying you aren't good at the instrument. I am not being modest. I am a horrendous trumpet player.
3.  I love flannel.
4.  I type about 28349324 words a minute. I used to pwn my keyboarding exams. I should really email my teacher...
5.  I am addicted to Special K cereal. The new blueberry kind is pretty fantastic.

6.  I started my first Xanga on August 1, 2003. It still exists. My current side blog, if you will, has been kickin' since October of 2004, but I try to keep it pretty hush-hush.
7.  My ringtone for most everyone is They Might Be Giants' "Leave Me Alone" (1:18)
8.  Justin and I are both big fans of Rio mp3 players, especially the really, really old PMP300 that holds eight songs. I currently rock the Rio Karma.
9.  I am dying without the cheap Chinese place around the corner where I got lunch three times a week. I'm detoxing right now and it's not pretty.
10. I haven't been to Starbucks in about three weeks and have saved about $40. Yowza.

11. My shoe size is 10. It makes it hard to find cute shoes. Continue reading →

I am a native Midwesterner. We are accustomed to being bombarded with subzero temperatures and feet of snow, shrugging it all off despite panicked newscasts and wearing four pairs of socks before going outside.

That being said, here on the east coast, people have no idea how to deal with snow. It is my understanding that they've confused precipitation types and acted accordingly.

You're doing it wrong, bro. I have seen more people walk around carrying umbrellas in the snow and I have the urge to kick them. If you're worried about snow getting on you, wear a coat...or a hat...or wrap yourself in Saran wrap. Is it raining? No? Leave it at home.

Does this only happen on the east coast or have you seen this happen elsewhere?

I'm editing a post for comma splices and than/then issues - usually we try our best to edit minimally on the partner sites - but I had to stop when I saw this advice for guys to make a woman feel loved:

Go get a brush and brush our hair, not just until the knots out but for a while. For like thirty minutes.

If my boyf even offered to brush my hair, I would punch him in the throat.

What questionable unsolicited advice have you gotten from friends?

i wonder if you guys go through this, too. at the beginning of every year, i feel like i have to hit "reset" much later than midnight on december 31 to start the new year. i haven't wanted to listen to music, blog, write, read, do cartwheels or drink coffee (I KNOWWWWWW; I'VE BEEN DRINKING TEA) yet this year. it feels weird - sort of like a drifty limbo.

okay, let's do it: reset!

our band part 2

happy friday, guys.

i'm compiling featured questions for the rest of the year today, so if you have any, send them my way, please. suggestions here on the FQ chatboard are fine, whatever's easier for you.

you know what makes a good and a bad FQ - please create accordingly.

i need a total of nine questions.

winners will see their names on the front page and receive a free panda:

ready...go!