February 21, 2008
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The Idol Contestant That Time Forgot
We’re into the semi-finals of American Idol, when 24 overexcitable teenagers and twentysomethings butcher our favorite songs until making it into the elusive top twelve.
This season, we’ve met . . .
- a nurse who’s all about ROCK AND ROLL m/ [>.<] m/
- Leif Garrett redux
- a dude with dreads who looks like a chick but sings rather nicely
- a tiny girl with a huge voice (go Ramiele!)
- an ex-boy band member (you can read an old fansite here) who actually had the temerity to say “I love rock!”
- the equivalent of Christian from Project Runway (who a friend has dubbed Hannah Gaytana)
- an Irish girl who couldn’t get a visa in time last year and fibbed about her past
- saying that your record company “imploded” isn’t accurate, homeslice – MCA was absorbed by Geffen and Universal!
- her debut single was called “I’m Gonna Blow Your Mind” . . . how nuanced!
- her album sold 400 copies
- DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!
ANYWAY, back before the guys and girls were split, there were 32 contestants split into four groups on Idol – group two was habitually stacked with a whole bunch of talent, the first and third were notoriously lackluster and the wildcard round winners were usually pretty obvious choices.
Group 4, season 2 brought contestants Josh Gracin and Corey Clark into the top twelve but also included my favorite Idol contestant of all time, Juanita Barber.
The replacement for Frenchie Davis after some unsavory pictures ended up on the interwebz, Juanita joined the group and asked America an important question – what about the children?
In a 2003 interview, the talent-deluded Tennessee native (“I do hair, I can rap, I write poems,” she says in her Idol mandated survey) explains that she has big plans even if Idol doesn’t work out (“I guess I’ll go to The Apollo or something.”). Here’s a recap of her performance.
Juanita sings Yolanda Adams’ weepy ballad, “What About The Children“, and gets very lukewarm applause. The judges don’t like it.
Paula: “I’m seeing a lot of oversinging . . . subtlety is the key.”
Simon: “Juanita, Juanita, Juanita! I think, I mean, you really
chose the wrong song . . . “
“How’s that the wrong song? I’m singing this song to America,
and I’m axin’ them ‘what about the children?’ How’s that the wrong
song?”Juanita fights with Randy, eventually leading to his asking her, “Do you know who I am?”
“Do you know who I am? I’m Juanita; I can sing; I made it this far. I hope y’all figure out who I am.”
BEST CONTESTANT EVER!
Who’s your favorite horrible Idol contestant of all time?
Are you voting for the worst this year?
Who do you like this season?
Comments (31)
I still have to watch last nights show… I think Sanjaya was the worst by far and I haven’t ever voted for anyone on any reality show. hehe.
My favorite worst contestant was John Stevens, the 16 year old who thought he was Frank Sinatra. God I hated that guy.
I have never ever ever ever watched American Idol…until this season. Last nite and the nite before were the first time I actually sat down and paid attention to this ridiculous show. I’m intrigued. I love the dread dude with the beautiful eyes…he is from my neck of the woods and I know people that know and love him (plus I totally love his voice!)…I am so excited to see if he’ll go far! I sure hope so. There’s also another guy that I’m interested in seeing ’cause he’s from the VERY same town I live in now…so that’s kinda cool. The girls were boring thus far.
Sanjaya, definitely. I also loved to hate on whatshisface who was up against Kelly Clarkson in the season 1 finale. Seriously, I can’t remember his name…
Wow… I like ramiela and the guy with the dreads… I hate this part because there are still so many bad singers… the Where the Boys are chick didn’t hit one note on last night… I feel like they axed some more decent singers because they are steering the public in the direction they want us to go… Not cool.
I don’t have a worst… I enjoy watching but I never vote, I just don’t have the patience… I LIE! I did vote once… for Jennifer Hudson, she was my favorite.
Later gator. Have a good day at work!
Well, as I’ve already mentioned I like Michael Johns and not just because he is cute. I loved his rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I didn’t watch last night. Sounds like a train wreck.
So when I have an official Xanga question – where is the best place to pose the question?
I don’t remember any of the contestants. I think I was watching “Wife Swap” at the time American Idol was on.
p.s. – Nobody’s cooler than Pepper Ann. Nobody’s cooler than Pepper Ann.
I am an Idol virgin~
never saw it!
my favorite horrible contestant was Paul Kim, only because i know him and really really wanted him to do well but JEEZ, the no shoes thing?? and he totally screwed up his top 24 performance, like, horrendously. and normally he’s an amazing singer but blew it big time on AI.
@X_naomi_X - i loved to hate him. and you know what? the ponyhawk is harder to rock than i thought. i tried it after his infamous “bathwater” performance.
@manilajones - i actually liked him
. he wasn’t great by any stretch of the imagination, but we gingers have to stick together.
@yourheadispunk - it *is* ridiculous but i’ve been hooked since halfway through season one. i calculated how much time i spent in front of the tv and it was weeks.
@affectator_de_veritas - guarini! i own from justin to kelly and watch it every once in a while.
@angi1972 - yeah, there’s some definite steering going on – i think it’s been that way since season 2. it’s fascinating, though – i’m dying for someone (maybe me!) to write a tell-all on how the voting actually goes.
@skanickadee - yeah, michael was good, but he’s not my favorite so far. as for the Official Question, you can ask us whenever – we’re doing office hours tonight from 5-6
@Amandasbiggestfan - i was going to make a reference to my favorite wife ever on that show, but then i realized that she was actually on trading spouses. such is life. the same show on two networks. p.s. “COOL! FIVE BUCKS!” – a xanga friend and i were reminiscing about our favorite episodes and i think my favorite one is where she’s embarrassed to buy zit cream.
@seedsower - AHHHHH. that’s like . . . never eating watermelon. i think.
@Meunonomo - i loved him! his pre-no shoe shtick was that he was probably the first asian dude to make the top 24. aw, i miss him
@Natalia - I don’t like watermelon,coffee,chocolate or soda,give me guacamole or Thai Peanut Cabbage salad!
@Natalia - I would love that! I’d read it!
so far my tops are the lil boy, the dude with the dreads, the fillipina girl, and the girl who lost her voice last week.
all time fav probably would be sanjaya LOL
the crazy lady from allentown is the worst. she was the lady cursing up a storm on this seasons first episode. yeah, shes from the same town i am…. /sigh
I’ve never watched that show but I’ll go along with whatever you say because you are the xangcoolness.
I was actually going to talk more shit about stuff I saw earlier this year, but then I realized I didn’t remember enough of it to make a proper snide remark about such, so I just went with what I could recall.
I mean, it’s not like The Hills Have Eyes 2 was memorable or anything.
I’m definitely not voting for the boy-band-guy turned rocker. I don’t have a problem with pop artists; I like a lot of pop music. I just hate it when people seem to be fake.
funny, i just posted on my blog saying that Danny is the Christian of American Idol. haha!
i didn’t know there’s such a thing as vote for the worst, and i sure didn’t realise that plenty of people think AI is crap.
I thought the voting outcome last night was pretty good.
@angi1972 - yeah . . . I chuckled today as I passed “VOTE FOR JOANNE!” posters in Hoboken this morning. thought the decisions were on-par, though.
i still can’t stand carly.
Yeah… she seems a little annoying… but her voice is good… I hated her song choice though.
You know what I don’t get… every year they say these are the best contestants ever… What BS! Can’t they come up with anything else to say… I’m sad for them. lol
@angi1972 - i know. the reason why they’re the “best ever” is because almost all of them have already been in the industry (albeit mostly without any success). as much as i hated those “ah’m from a small town and ah just love singin’, y’know?” videos, i’d rather have those than these semi-polished wannabe stars. bleh!
My parents just adored Sanjia (sp?) Yay! Thank you thank you thank you!
Thanks
I just changed it a second ago! :p
Once daughtry was robbed of the title, I quit watching. Well, my husband forbid AI from playing on our new tv, so that didnt help either. I thought at one point I might need some sort of support group, as addicted as I was to the stupid show.
I do sneak in the first few episodes though, to watch the crazies abound.
haha… i see you got a little worster in ya.
season 5 was my fav.; it literally changed my life.
vocally, there are some nice singers this time around but no one person who’s compelling. not enough to make me want to pick up my phone and vote.
i actually like the hennessey (also disguised as, “smithson”) girl.so ironic and irish gal ends up with the worst string of luck.
did you notice half the guys this season look kinda feminine?
there’s a ringer everywhere you look. syeshia (sp?) was on that failed ABC show “the one”, others had deals with labels that didn’t go anywhere.
i still like syeshia, carly and ramiele from the girls and the aussie, the little kid and the dreadlock dude. that’s my top 6.
that girl’s got some balls for sure.
you tell ‘em that, girl! don’t take nothing from nobody. 
thanks for stopping by. just want to say hi.
I have not been following any of the American Idol’s over the years.
As for us having the X-factor at the moment and before that pop idol, I have decreased the amount of time I have watched these on television during the years.
I’ve never liked nor watched AI, but this was hilarious post. I think it’s moments like these which I don’t care to see—people who are so into themselves—that keep me away. And, Simon being so uber-Godlike in his pronouncements of who is good and who’s not—yet another example of someone being so into themselves—is the primary reason I stay away.
@athanasius2k4 - ahhh, but that’s why I like Simon so much – he and I agree on the performances 99% of the time. guess i’d be the mean judge
i havent watched Idol in a while, but if it is anything, i am watching americas best dance crew which is produced by randy jackson. there is some connection there. i might pick up idol again. i have only seen the first season.