September 11, 2007

• Snacks thanks to teh intarwebzz

  Let me preface this by saying that I am a miserable cook. My specialty is PB&J and one minor pasta-chicken-vegetable-alfredo sauce dish with darling Andy.

  My aunt and uncle, upon hearing that I have lost weight since moving out and depending on myself to design my own food schedules (duh, because cereal is an appropriate breakfast, lunch or dinner and I consider pretzels to be effective hors d’oeuvres,) sent me food! Yay! After writing a thank-you note – absolutely essential if you were raised in our family – I started ravaging through my package of snacks gleefully.

  I’ve been nursing a nasty addiction to microwave popcorn for a while now. When the whole popcorn lung thing got started, I got a little worried – that was a staple in my diet for the better part of college. Whoooooooops. Anyway, my aunt and uncle are well apprised of my favorite foods, ’cause they sent me five bags of Orville Redenbacher’s finest, worst-for-you-but-best-tasting microwaveable buttery goodness.

  But I don’t have a microwave. Snap.

  So, being the hungry go-getter that I am, yours truly did some Googling and found out that it is apparently possible to make popcorn using the stove – and none of this Jiffy Pop nonsense – using scissors, a spoon and sheer grit. I was a little wary . . . everyone knows everything you see online is true!

  This was originally a video that I recorded, but W. Movie Maker hates saving files when I’m involved. Screencaps are just as fun. Without much further ado, here’s a recipe for magic:

  1. Cut open a bag of microwave popcorn and empty the contents into a saucepan big enough to hold a theoretical bag of popcorn. I hope you all know that I had to Google Image Search “saucepan” because I wasn’t sure that was the correct term. I’m hopeless.
  

  2. Heat stove – I used a medium setting. I have gas burners, which is unfortunate and usually means I have to throw away at least three matches, lest I come close to burning my fingers. Cover saucepan (I’m learning!).
  

  3. Once things have heated a little bit, uncover it and mix around your . . . mixture. The bottom should have plenty of the good yellow stuff covering it.
  

  4. Wait. Apparently two minutes is the optimum time for gas stoves like mine – it takes about three for you electric-types. My apartment started to smell like a movie theater after about a minute of popping.

  5. Eat.
  

  Thank yous are also due to the internet, Al Gore for allegedly inventing said internet, Orville Redenbacher and UPS.

  • 10:11 pm
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